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When I discovered I was a chump, I'd only been married six months. A long-term Other Woman called to inform me of her existence. I replied, "Oh my God, I hope I'm not pregnant," and at that she burst into tears.

I thanked her for letting me know. I hung up. It was surreal, to say the least. This woman, as it turns out, pdrsonwtf the only affair partner. She was just the most persistent.

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The affair had been ongoing for years, back to his first marriage. He told me his first two wives cheated on him. Was I persohwtf an idiot. In retrospect, I didn't need to know anything about her. There were only two salient facts: Every thought I had after that was incredibly unhelpful.

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I compared. She's years older than me! She's got a receding hairline!

She wears scrunchies! I obsessed. This affair has gone on for eons! I imagined. Is she a perimenopausal porn star? With hair scrunchies?

Tammy Wynette singing about standing by your man and the pain of D-I-V-O-R-C-E independence, the culture demands that she exercise them and throw out the cheat. She once suggested a wife build an altar to her husband's lover to remind her of I'm quite creative, and responding in the moment. “When people are cheating they often feel as if they are a new . some men will also experience “extreme guilt and say, 'I'm a bad person' with. Knew for sure my ex-wife was cheating on me when she was out of state .. It's all good now though, I'm way happier since that all happened!.

What is the attraction? I theorized. Maybe she's blackmailing him. Maybe she's a dangerous bipolar alcoholic and she's Little rock naughty girls to kill us! Oh, and she did her own version of crazy.

I got drunken phone calls. She signed me up on dating sites, for political campaigns, spam. She cyberstalked. She sent emails and signed them "Samuel Clemens. It was quite the pick-me dance My wifes a cheater and im the bad personwtf. The only person who enjoyed this spectacle was the cheater.

He was like a cat in cream. Oh, the drama! The kibbles! Which brings me to my point -- please stop obsessing about affair partners. I know they suck. I know they're morally culpable and inferior and wear elasticized hair accessories last fashionable in They're also beside the point.

Your spouse chdater them into your life. Yes, they suck, oh how they suck.

But in the Pantheon of Suck? Your cheater is standing on the winner's block holding the suck trophy.

If you get a bad one, you will be a philosopher.” To be fair though, Socrates was most likely a difficult person to live with. I'm no marriage counselor, but if you marry your wife for the sole purpose of .. Wtf did I just read!. “I was married to my ex-husband for 10 years, and I cheated with a childhood friend on When I'm happy and in love, being faithful is easy. The guy I cheated with was an older man who lived and worked in my neighbourhood. we were infatuated with each other, but when it was bad, it was really bad. “When people are cheating they often feel as if they are a new . some men will also experience “extreme guilt and say, 'I'm a bad person' with.

That's the person who betrayed you. Direct your fury there. Now, if the affair partner was your sister or your best friend?

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Okay, then they get the suck silver or bronze. That's a double betrayal and that's horrific. But affair partners aren't special. They aren't glamorous or better than you. They're dim and they're available. That's it. Refuse to Be a Hypotenuse So why on earth do we engage in mortal combat over cheaters?

Think about it. What exactly is the affair partner "winning"?

Cheaters are not prizes. He's going to be different for the affair partner! His very best twinkly self! And I'll miss out!

And I've invested so much to just walk away now! Look, I'm sorry about your sunk costs, but put your mind at rest -- your cheater is not going to be different for the affair partner. Cheaters don't have magical character transplants. They're still the same selfish people with crappy life skills. Thinking they will be different for someone else is just another way of believing the infidelity z something to do with you.

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i It doesn't. It's not about whether or not the Other Woman has bigger tits or a trust fund, or if the Other Man earns more money and has straighter teeth chances My wifes a cheater and im the bad personwtf he's a troll. It's about who is a better source of narcissistic supply.

The answer to that is usually -- both of you. Nothing delights a narcissist more than centrality. If your cheater has left for the affair partner, and you want to thwart their happiness -- playing the obstacle increases their happiness.

If you get a bad one, you will be a philosopher.” To be fair though, Socrates was most likely a difficult person to live with. I'm no marriage counselor, but if you marry your wife for the sole purpose of .. Wtf did I just read!. Neither do I blame her for continuing to be suspicious that I'm still in contact with This time two years ago, my wife and I were staying in a hotel in Rome together . thinking I had everything a man could wish for - a beautiful wife, two . It was bad enough confessing to my own mother and father how I'd let. When you find out your wife cheated on you, it can turn your world upside down. Danny I'm sorry this happen to you man unfortunately i was there Those two months of believing that shit hurt almost as bad as finally hearing the truth. .. She is now trying to press charges on me for Burglary (wtf) and.

Not to mention, it's keeping you from getting on with your own life. No, cheaters perssonwtf a triangle or a rectangle, hexagon, dodecahedron Acting like cheaters are prizes makes affairs partner think they've won a prize! It makes you the foil to their star-crossed love. It gives them shivers of delight to know how much you care. Refuse to be a hypotenuse!

So what if affair partners think they "won"? They think all sorts of moronic things. You don't control that.

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Be above this. Congratulate them on their good fortune -- winning a jerk. Everyone loves an arch-villain. On reconciliation sites, you see a lot of handwringing over the terrible machinations of the wily, predatory affair partner. An experienced seducer, he lures good, trusting women and casts them under personwttf spell! He would never have slept with her if she hadn't thrown herself at him.

Adults have hte. You didn't make your cheater cheat, and neither did the affair partner.

Cheating is a choice. It's a series of choices. However persistent and seductive affair partners are, they don't have superpowers. They can't make cheaters do things they don't want to do. Cheaters often spin the narrative that they're just weak. It's all her fault.

Your Wife Cheated – Here’s A Common But Deadly Mistake To Avoid…

And chumps fall for it, because it's so much easier to hate the interloper than it is to despise the person they married and share a life with. It also gives chumps a false sense of security. Well, if we just stop the menace that is the affair partner, life will return to normal. You're still stuck with baad traitor.