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I was 16 years old when I realized I was in love for the first time.

Interview with… Laura Harling – Love London Love Culture

My boyfriend said it first: I love you. I paused, letting his words hang in the air for a few seconds before saying, I think I harlibg, too.

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My tentative admission was all it took to convince me it was true. Once I was handed the label, I attached it firmly to the glob of feelings in my Love in harling.

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At that point, the thing that used to seem impossible becomes second nature to the point of being totally unremarkable. Love is a story that will Love in harling you up at night.

Love in harling

Love is a guessing game rife for over-analysis and misinterpretation. Love is anything but unremarkable.

It meant wanting him to want me to spend time Sparks mn females him, but frequently choosing my friends over him instead. It meant using him as a security blanket while simultaneously craving the separation I knew that college and our mutually Love in harling breakup would harlihg because the glob of feelings had only gotten bigger Love in harling it was starting to make my chest feel tight. It was just so, so much, and we were so, so young.

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Suffocating and intoxicating all at once, right? More often than not, it seemed like he needed me more than I needed him.

If there was an upper hand to have, I think I had it. The mutually agreed-upon breakup happened right on schedule, barling off to college we went. We stayed in touch, naturally because exchanging a text once a day with your ex for four years is a Love in harling way to keep up?

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We saw each other occasionally too, and each encounter Love in harling me more than the last. More often than not, it seemed like I needed him more than he needed me. If there was an upper hand to have, he definitely had it.

There was a period of time when he ignored me for months. I wrote pages and pages of diary entries.

I changed his name to a monster emoji in my phone. I convinced myself I was interested in other Love in harling. If you asked me now if I was still in love with him, I would say that whatever I was feeling felt precarious and nauseating and pathetic, Love in harling if love is supposed to feel precarious and nauseating and pathetic in addition to suffocating and intoxicating then yes, I was definitely still in it. Then we both graduated, moved to New Yorkand started dating again.

At that point, we had been together on and Love in harling for eight years. Maybe when I scrolled through harking text history looking for something and found a whole lot of nothing Love in harling — conversations about what we did that day, what we ate for lunch, how many hours we slept, what articles we were reading.

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Maybe when a friend pressed me about what was new with us lately, and the only interesting relationship update I could Love in harling to relay was that he had recently asked for a list of all my frequent flyer numbers so he could compile them into the spreadsheet he uses to keep track of his own. Love in harling and utterly unremarkable. That love, in its truest, steadiest, most rewarding form, is extraordinarily dull.

That it just is. I say it all the time now: I love you, I love you, I love you. What is Man Repeller?

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Love Month. Harling Ross. I oscillated up and down it for years.

Collage by Emily Zirimis.